If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
