can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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