Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
