I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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