Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
