***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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