thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
