Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
