4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
