Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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