smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My friends, they love my intelligence
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
