My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
