apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize