my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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