hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
