he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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