tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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