3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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