i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
