i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
