Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
