just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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