Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
