Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
