Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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