Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
