you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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