So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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