The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
