i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
