Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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