windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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