I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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