dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
