4 words: hood of his car
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
