i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
