All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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