Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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