This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
