Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
