okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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