If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
