The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
