Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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