dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
