She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
