We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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