i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
