Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
either way he was missing a nipple.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
