The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize