He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
True strength comes from lack of pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
