I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
