Midget sex pt 2 tonight
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
