Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just found puke in my bra..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
