I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
