ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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