he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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