i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
