I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
