Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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