And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
