Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
