I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize