Sponge bath it is.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize