Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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